Myth #1.  “My spouse says s/he will sue me for abandonment if I leave the home to live somehwere else.”  Truth:  There is no such thing as “abandonment” of a functional adult.  You are no more legally responsible for taking care of your spouse than s/he is for taking care of you.  Both of you, of course, have a responsiblity to pay the family bills, and to take care of any children, both physically and financially.  But you do not have to live with your spouse if you no longer want to.  You will not be punished by the law if you choose to move out.  After all, in every divorce or separation, someone must move out.  It would be a very good idea to consult with a lawyer before you move, if possible.  But if your personal safety is at stake, move first and get advice later.  Your safety, and that of the children, is the most important consideration.

Watch this space for infomration on the next divorce myth.

Obtaining a a prenuptial agreement need not be expensive and can pay for itself many times over.  Also, negotiating an agreement is a perfect subject for the collbaorative process.  With collaborative lawyers, the soon-to-be married partners can meet together with both lawyers in a civilized and friendly environment to work out the agreement. 

Many people fear that entering into a prenuptial agreement will cast a cloud over the upcoming marriage, implying that the marriage won’t last and that divorce is inevitable.  This fear is misplaced.  Talking about finances before the marriage is usually very healthy for the relationship, and may actually prevent problems later on because the partners talk about their financial assumptions in advance.

Consulting a lawyer about a prenuptial agreement is a very small investment in something that could prove extremely valuable later, even if the parties never divorce and the marriage endures the test of time.

 To change custody so that a new court order is issued, the parent that wants to change it must show 2 things.  The first is that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the last custody order was entered.  The court can be fairly strict as to what amounts to a significant change in circumstances and what doesn’t.  For instance, a change of circumstances the court will consider does not include situations where a parent has simply changed his/her mind and does not like the current custody situation anymore; situations where the child simply says he/she wants to live with that parent; or situations where the parties previously agreed between themselves that custody would somehow change later on.  Some examples of changes in circumstances the court will pay attention to are things like one parent moving out of the state or community; one parent having developed legal problems or substance abuse issues that are bad enough to interfere with his/her parenting responsibilities; or one parent being with a partner who abuses substances or abuses the parent. 

 If the parent meets the first criteria, the second thing a parent wanting to change custody must establish is that the new custody plan they are offering to the court meets the child’s best interests.  Parents often assume that if they get over the first hurdle, that custody will in fact change.  That isn’t necessarily so.  Courts can and do find that even when it agrees that circumstances have changed enough for it to reconsider custody, the current custody order is still meeting the child’s best interests.  For instance, if the change in circumstance was substance abuse related, the court will look to see if that parent is in treatment or otherwise has the issue under control.  It is not unheard of for parents like these to defeat a motion to change custody if they “rehabilitate” themselves while the attempt to change custody is going on in the court.  These kinds of things can be very frustrating for the parent wanting to change custody.       

 In a nutshell, the court takes its Orders regarding custody very seriously, and does not review requests for changes in them lightly if the parents do not agree.  Every parent preparing to enter into an agreement about custody that is going to be made an order of the court needs to think about the terms of the agreement they are making, whether they can really live with it, the effect it will have on the child and on them in the future; and whether the agreement will wear well practically and in other ways.  If not, you may want to think again about going ahead with having the court enter that order.

If you have a hearing in front of a Social Security Administration (SSA) Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) and receive an Unfavorable Decision you should appeal. The ALJ decision will explain how you can appeal to the SSA Appeals Council.  There are appeal forms online or at your local SSA office.

Your appeal does not have to be on an appeal form. If you cannot get a form, you can still appeal. The most important thing is to appeal before your deadline passes.  You have 60 days to appeal an ALJ decision.  If you miss your deadline but you have a very good reason, you can ask the Appeals Council to grant you “good cause” for filing a late appeal.  But good cause might not be granted. The best thing to do is to file your appeal on time.

In order to appeal, you need to write the Appeals Council at the address provided in your decision and state you are appealing and why you disagree with the ALJ decision. If you have any helpful medical records that are dated before the date of the ALJ decision that the ALJ did not have send them in with your appeal. You should send your appeal by certified mail so you have proof that it was received.  Keep a copy of your decision and a copy of what you file in a safe place. If your address changes before your appeal is decided, be sure to let the Appeals Council know so that they can send you their decision.

While you are waiting for an Appeals Council decision, you can file a new claim if you are still unable to work.  You will not get a hearing on the new claim until the Appeals Council decides your first claim but you can start the process.  To win your new claim, you will have to show that your condition has worsened since the unfavorable ALJ decision or that you have a new impairment.

The Appeals Council decision will look like a letter. If you lose, the letter will state that they decided not to review the ALJ decision. The letter will also explain that you can appeal to federal court.  You have 60 days to file a federal court appeal.  Our firm can evaluate your case for a federal appeal.  If you are at poverty level we can ask the federal court to waive its filing fee.